Do not put the LOAD of Responsibility for your HAPPINESS on the shoulders of your Spouse – Victoria Osteen


Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want. – Jim Rohn

“HAPPY YOURSELF. Being happy is a choice. Choose to be happy. Make #Happy your middle name. Don’t carry other people’s burden. Share in it if you can but do not carry it. It was Jesus (not you nor I) who said: come to me with your burdens. Happiness is an inside job. Happy yourself because nobody will. Learn to forgive quickly and be happy. Always maintain a state of equanimity.” – Martin Dzediku

Beloved let us love.

If I was a woman I would expect love EVERYDAY and not just on Valentines day.

A man must also demand love & respect every moment and not just on Valentines day.

And by the way, who are YOU  demanding these from? From your spouse or partner  right? WRONG !!!

You demand it from yourself and you give it to yourself. Happiness is something you find and share. Love comes from within and not without.

Maya Angelou who is one of my favourite writers and mentors (and majority are women) once wrote: “I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you’. There is an African saying which is : Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt”.

So you MUST love others beginning with YOU FIRST. Attempting to love others before YOU is called ‘being fake’. Next, you must allow others to love you beginning with themselves. People cannot give you what they don’t have.

If they wear rags, they would give you rags. If they drink cheap wine, they would serve you cheap wine. If they cannot afford to treat themselves to fine OTARD cognac, they are unlikely to refresh you with Otard Cognac. In latin, we say ‘Nemo dat quod non habet” literally meaning “no one gives what he doesn’t have”.

Since I have suggested that we MUST love others beginning with ourselves, I propose that you pay attention to the initial half-a-dozen areas:

  1. Love your health and take good care of your body. You should be the first to appreciate or criticize your naked body. Commit to an exercise and fitness regime. Increased energy levels impact all other areas including your love and sex life.
  2. Love your mind and invest to improve or change your limiting beliefs. My late mentor Jim Rohn would say ‘ invest in the miracle of your mind, giving you ideas to ponder. Fashion your future with meticulous care’
  3. Love, value and cherish your time with God. God is real. God is near and God draws nearer when we draw nearer to Him. Nearer my God to thee. Spiritual life is important.
  4. Love your emotional happy and joyous state. Feed it with more laughter. Surround yourself with happy people. Avoid cry babies. Take loads of photos. Capture the moment. Frequently go through your photos to bring back happy memories.
  5. Love and be responsible for your own personal development and that of all your CHILDREN. What you leave IN  A CHILD(REN) is more important and worthy than the furniture and houses you leave for them.. Socrates said ‘never expect what you cannot do yourself’. If you fail, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and soldier on. If you can’t do that, don’t force or expect your kids to be resilient and persevering.
  6. Love productive and rewarding work. Work, work and continue working hard. You must graft your way to success in all your undertakings. My mentor Jim used to say “start a little early, work a little harder and stay a little later’. Martin Dzediku says “unless we succeed by effort, we will fail by default’. Let others leave early to beat the traffic, not you. Acquire the money consciousness and wealth mentality. Branson said people who are not serious about earning money DO NOT want to help (LOVE) anybody.

When you begin to do the above for and to yourself, you will be in a better position to LOVE OTHERS. You would become charming and loving. Love like you have never been hurt before (Eleanor Roosevelt). Beloved let us love.

The 13th century poet Rumi wrote something poignant that I quote from time to time. Rumi said “when we come to die, we must think of our final resting place as not in the earth but in the hearts of men. Me too, when I die someday I pray that my final resting place would be in the hearts of men and not in a fine casket buried 6 feet below.

Beloved let us love. Love ourselves and love others as ourselves. Omnia vincit lamor (Love conquers all).


Enjoy your Marriage

Selwyn Hughes on Marriage


Brian Tracy writes on Parenting:

Did you know that I’m a father of 4? Yes, it’s true.

I have 2 sons, Michael and David, and 2 daughters, Christina and Catherine. Parenting is not only extremely rewarding, but it’s also an incredible learning experience. (Trust me).

In addition to being a father for over 30 years, I’ve also done extensive research into the art and psychology of parenting.

This is what I’ve learned…

The most important single role of parenting is to love and nurture your children and to build in them feelings of high self-esteem and self-confidence. If you raise your children feeling terrific about themselves, and full of eagerness to go out and take on the world, then you have fulfilled your responsibility.

Why Parents Don’t Love Enough

There are two major reasons for the failure by parents to love their children enough. First, the parents do not love themselves. Parents with low self-esteem have great difficulty giving more love to their children than they feel for themselves. The second reason that parents dont love their children enough is they often have the mistaken notion that their children exist to fulfill their expectations.

Children are Not Property

The starting point of raising super kids is to realize that your children are not your property. Your children belong to themselves. They are a gift to you from high above, and a temporary gift at that.

Children are a Precious Gift

When you look at your children as precious gifts that you can only enjoy for a short time, you see your role as parents differently. When you celebrate and encourage the special nature and personality of your child, he or she grows like a flower in sunshine. But if you try to get your child to be something he or she is not, your child’s spirit will wither like a leaf on a tree in autumn.


.“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”………………………………………….

“Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting some on yourself.”


Happiness is always a choice. You can’t wait for circumstances to get better. You have to to create your own good fortune. So look for ways to be happy every day…………………………………………………

Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times. Aeschylus



Some days are just bad days, that’s all. You have to experience sadness to know happiness, and I remind myself that not every day is going to be a good day, that’s just the way it is!  – Dita Von Teese