Wednesday 7 November 2018 06:45am
This life ! Yes this life ! It is full of opportunities mixed with difficulties. Sometimes we have more opportunities than difficulties and other times we are snowed under with more difficulties and pain than pleasure.
Yesterday I spent about an hour by the bedside of a friend who is battling prostate cancer and its ills.
I have to say my friend had deteriorated since I last saw him. I mean this cancer thing is as wild as the perennial California wildfires.
At times like that, regardless of how strong you are, you find yourself questioning our very existence, our ambitions, our endeavours, whether it is all vanity, whether we should take our foot off the pedal and coast to our graves or what!
Should we ease off and just become consumers? Consumers of what others produce? After all, none of the things we strive for – the houses, the investments, the cars, the education, the qualifications, the travels, the music, the books and so on and so forth – will follow us to our graves. It is hard not to consider or accommodate such thinking when we come face to face with the ravages of illness such as Cancer (or CA).
Should you strive to endure the drudgery and the dry spell that plagues us sometimes. Should we continue to double our efforts and work our fingers to the bone, strive to be diligent? Should we dim our light or allow it to glow knowing that someday we too will deteriorate, even if we make it into our 70s and 80s and 90s? Why should I put my shoulder to the wheel to succeed? To what end? Is that why some people are sybarite and believe in Hedonism? If the end of our lives can be in pain, shall we ease off and become professional begging bowl carriers? Do you do any real cogitation along these lines?
I have personally wrestled with such thoughts on several occasions especially when I lose a close friend or relative or business associate who pursued his work with all due seriousness; one who is uxorious and a dedicated family man or woman; one who deliberately eats well, exercise regularly and religiously and makes it his or her life’s ambition to be at peace with all men. It is hard not to review the notes about life in general and how and where to spend or invest your energies in particular.
Over the last decade, from my various sad experiences, interactions with friends and people from all walks of life and by reading autobiographies, I have come to the conclusion that :
- Every day is a specially wrapped gift with silky ribbons
- Today may be very difficult with some frailties perhaps but I must not forget God’s love and compassion yesterday.
- You discover the value of hard work by working hard
- It is all worth it
- It is worth it to keep your feet on the ground, your head above the clouds, your nose to the grindstone, your shoulder to the wheel, your finger on the pulse, your eye on the ball and your ear to the ground. It is worth it.
- It is worth it to be like Maxcy Filer who used 25 years and 47 tries to pass the bar exam at age 60 in order to be able to practise law in California
- It is worth it to enjoy your avocations
- It is worth it to apply yourself to your vocations
- It is worth it to be ambitious, confident, determined, persistent and hardworking
- It is worth it to be patient and give yourself the needed time to learn something new or develop a new skill, bearing in mind that every expert was once a beginner.
- It is worth it to hasten slowly but keep the main thing as your dominant thought.
- It is worth it to offer goods and services to humanity from which you can earn an income to live well.
- It is worth it to educate and train children you did not sire.
- We are collaborators in creation
- It is worth it to write all the books on the various subjects of interest that are begging to be written
- It is worth it to produce music before you die
- It is worth it to write your poems
- It is worth it to give hope to the despairing
- Yes we will always be buried in a very small coffin or cremated and ashes kept in a small jar but it is worth it to consider and buy a 70 x 100 plot of land and build a house to live in or as investment for your spouse, children, orphans, widows etc etc
- It is worth it to work hard and earn an income to purchase a strong robust vehicle that can protect you in a head-on collision
- It is all worth it.
- It is worth it to worship and grow your faith in a good God even when you find yourself in calamitous situations and the love, comfort, warmth and compassion of a sovereign God seems far removed from you.
- It is important to stand for something so that you don’t fall for anything
- It is important to become equable
- It is important to read read and read
- It is important to study study and study
- It is important to be kind and giving. If you don’t harvest what you have sown, your children will.
- It is important to cultivate good and serious friendships you can rely on
- It is important to spend less than you earn (70-10-10-10) and invest the rest to return you an income during the ‘certain future’ when you can no longer physically work
- It is worth it to travel the world and voyage to the distant seas
- It is important to read your bible and pray everyday
- It is important to nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune
- It is important to walk with the wise so that you may become wise
- It is important to stay in the company of positive people so that you will become positive because you cannot live a positive life from a negative mindset
- It is important to write a Will and Codicil
- It is important to eat healthy nutritious foods
- It is important to walk for 3 miles and exercise for 45 minutes as part of your daily rituals
- It is important to sleep for 7+ hours every day (minimum 6 hours)
- It is important to physically visit or phone to hear the voice of a loved one for a time will come, such as yesterday when your loved one cannot speak, recognise you or hear your voice
- It is wise to use part of your earnings to do thorough medical checks (including PSA , breast cancer checks etc) every 6 months, just as you do for your cars (MOT)
Fact is that we will all die. Nobody will get out of this world alive. But when we have life, WE MUST LIVE. WE MUST LOVE. WE MUST GRAFT. We must eat well. We must build houses, sing songs, write books and educate and train the next generation. It was my late mentor Jim Rohn who said “when the end comes, let it find you conquering a new mountain, not sliding down an old one”.
Rumi the 13th century poet gave us a good advice when he said: We must think of our final resting place as not in the earth but in the hearts of men.
Martin Dzediku – 07.November.2018 – Doha